The Perfect Mom

This month our little group got off schedule and so there will be two post. Here is the breakdown of the topic for the column we read and discussed this month, "The Perfect Mom" by Allyson Reynolds. It was a very good column that focuses on the idea that there is NOT a "perfect" mom and if you are attaining to become such, well, just let me know when you get there! I wrote down all sorts of notes and did a little mommy-soul searching.

What I came to realize is that overall I am doing a good job as a mother. I know the "things" that I let go so that I can accomplish other "things" and in reality I am glad I am able to do this. One of the questions proposed in the group discussion asks you to name qualities of other women you know that you wish you could have. I have a few moms on pedal stools in my mind and these are the qualities I would like to acquire or improve upon; humility, service, confidence, time for myself, and better control of my frustrations. I would love to never raise my voice at my children, but I will justify it with the fact that there are three of them and I have to make sure I am heard...right?!? I was the host this month and so I was able to lead the discussion. I asked everyone if they would not mind going around the room and tell each person a quality that they admired about them. Some people found it awkward, but we made it around our circle and can I just say it was great! I felt like people were able to pick qualities that they saw in these fine women and acknowledge them for their strengths and efforts. We as moms, don't get that very much, and so I feel it really lifted the spirits of our group, at least I hope it did, that was the point.

Another part of the column provided a quote by one of my favorite people, M. Russell Ballard; "There is no perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." How can you not love that statement! Read his amazing talk "Daughters of God" to further uplift you and to remember what your role as a woman, mother and wife truly is.

Can you tell there were few questions this month. So, another point brought up was that life too, is not perfect. it is more like a train ride. The following quote is by Jenkin Lloyd Jones. "Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. {The fact is} most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise....Life is like an old-time rail journey- delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." After reading this quote we were encouraged to write down our missed putts and our beautiful vistas. I wanted to take it a step further {does that really surprise any of you? - didn't think so}. So I decided that missed putts were the negatives or challenges in my life that I had control over and the tough meat were those that I do not have control over. The same goes for the good, where the burst of speed are created by me and the beautiful vistas are just there for me to enjoy.

Missed Putts

financial difficulties

lack of current self-worth / confidence

my hair

lack of diligence in scripture study

lack of diligence in Temple attendance

Tough Meat

Truck engine blew up

lousy housing market

Burst of Speed

Total Money Makeover

house looks great

budget is hard but working out to the penny

enjoying our last year in Oregon

Beautiful Vistas

the girls

summer time is here

my hubbie has a calling that gives us so many blessings

enjoying Ansley's last year being home 24/7

So there are mine. What are yours? The point of this exercise for me was to understand what the meat, putts, speed, and views were to me right now. When I had it written out on paper, the bad did not seem as daunting as they really were. I also realized that I had more good than bad. The goal is to shift my daily point of view to the positive and away from the negatives. It really does work when you can do it.

So the exercise concludes with a little pick me up moment where you get to brag a bit to yourself about what you feel you are good at as a mother. I love the idea of focusing on the good and so I am going to list what I think are my strengths. Please don't think I am gloating this is for me and I would encourage you to do it for yourself too.

I get my girls outdoors a lot

I balance my time well so that I spend more time playing with my girls than

cleaning or doing chores {yes, my floor could always use a sweep but I don't care}

I capture, collect, and record our days together

I include the girls in all sorts of activities

I allow them to be little girls, to run, explore and grow up at their own

pace {I do not have a hidden agenda for them}

I enjoy to cuddle with them, read with them, and embrace bonding time

my strengths are that I am

creative

outdoor-ies

open to new ideas and experiences

teachable

patient

organized

consistent

friendly

I came out from this meeting feeling happy about me and what I have been doing for my girls. I know that when I have a positive attitude it affects Han Solo and our entire little planet. We I get down on my knees and thank my father in heaven for all I have been given I realized that being a mother is the hardest but greatest calling of life. Here are two more quotes that I want to include.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a visions for tomorrow." -Melody Beattie

"I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent's life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child's life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent's normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes." -M. Russell Ballard