So once again it has been a while. Have I not had any rants and raves? Ahhh...as that hilarious commercial says...did the piggy cry WEEEEEEEEEEEE all the way home? OF COURSE. I just have not had the time, energy, or desire, really to get on the computer and document any of it.
This blog has always been for me a place for honesty without the fear of offending anyone, cause only a few dear friends even know about it. Well in light of that I just want to put it on record that I am NOT happy in my new town. I do NOT like living in an apartment with three young girls a cat and a handsome man with rather large feet. I do NOT like my current state of being (prego and fat), I do not like the idea of having to fit another person (little or not) into the apartment. I do NOT like that we are no closer to getting out of debt as the car did not pass inspection in our new state, I have to pay for a ob to look at me and say hey you are still pregant and you are getting fat (Have I mentioned that I feel and look fat), our middle ewok has gotten a huge bacterial infection that we have to pay for, our tax refund was rejected, I have been rejected from my own insurance company because now that I am in a new state my pregancy becomes a pre-existing condition with the new state division of my SAME insurance company (Blue Cross Blue Sheild in case anyone wants someone new to hate) and we have to incorporate our business which will cost money, of course. Did I mention its almost time to pay taxes. I do NOT like the fact that I have no friends in walking distance and litteraly know 5 people in this entire city. On the upside I DO LOVE that my two dearest friends still make an effort to come see me. THANK YOU NANCY FOR THE DRIVE AND ANDREA FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS IN PERSON. I do NOT like the fact that I can not be close to JoLynn to help with the boys and normal girl coaching. I do NOT like the fact that we rarley and I mean rarley see gary for more than an hour of the day.
You know what is really sad. I am so depressed about, I was going to erase that and say something different because depressed is a strong word I thought I had conqured this last year, but the honesty thing right, things that are around me right now that I haven't even had the desire to go look at eye candy at Craft Wearhouse or the local quilt store I found. I have not been in a JoAnns in months and my room of joy is a messy blunder. I feel like I am back to square one....Okay even capturing all this has made me gloomy. I am done now, maybe I will work on my room for a bit.
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I 100% understand what you are going through. I really do. That was me all last year. Not that things have gotten much better, but my state of mind has and that has helped. I need to get some sewing done, so if you want some company, I'm more than willing to load my crew up and drive to a different state to come hang out with ya!
ReplyDeleteThings will get better. Everything happens for a reason. I hate hearing that, but it's so true. Hang in there. Don't be afraid to ask for a blessing from your hubby. That was my life line for a long time. And you are not fat! It's a very cute baby bump growing a cute little person! Now, go grab some chocolate, a coke and sit down, put your feet up and try to enjoy the closeness that apartment living brings (at least you don't have a huge house to clean!)
I thought I taught you not to use the word HATE when you were little! Call home more often and complain to me. That way you get "it" off your chest and you have not made anyone else grumpy. Sometimes just focusing on the now helps and the next thing you know you are past the bump in the road. Don't be like Dad and look ahead or anticipate things that have not even occured, just deal with them if it arrives. A lot less stress that way! the old "one day at a time" theory, love mom
ReplyDeleteOh Gemia, can I hug you??? I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear a little HONESTY!! Thank you for saying it like it is and please, please continue! I don't consider it being negative if you get it all out and then do your best to be positive after that!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazingly tough person and you, of course, will get through this too. Lean on the Lord and He will bless you. I can SO relate and am also worried about squeezing a third child in a two bedroom apartment. I try my best to be grateful for our little apartment most days. But some days you just need to stop pretending for a moment. I get it! And I know your mom is just trying to be a mom - but you can still say the word HATE if that's how you really feel! Love ya!