From Procrastination to NOW

I think that procrastination is part of my genetic code, which enhanced by 3 little girls, one male leach that will have to learn to survive on his own in 10 more weeks (no not my hubbie), a household to run, a preschool to run, dance lessons to teach (which I finally told them, today, I was done till the baby is out MOM), a company to establish with every official and non-official person in the US that FedEx could possibly come up with, and just normal life to maintain, has left this last year of our lives a little chaotic; more so than normal anyway. Well ONE year ago I started this blog as a way for me to bring the balance and focus of my life back to me. It all started here (read if you like), forget about the link if you really could care less =) (Oh, and for all the Heidi's out there reading this...that was SARCASM). Just wanted to note that. Any-who. I chose to do all this because I felt left out and neglected in my own life. I also needed the ability to vent openly about my life and the things that happen around me. So my word last year was ME.

Guess what, it's already 2011 and I need a new word to add onto ME. I just finished my shower, this is where I get all my insight, and a few things crossed my mind. 2010 turned out to be a BIG year for our family. I do not think I saw half of the things coming before they were knocking at my door. Then, I be the spontaneous person I am, instead of looking through the peep hole to prepare myself, I just opened the door to see who was there - BIG MISTAKE, at times. Here is a quick run down.


1. Although we knew we would have to sell our house and move our family across a river to a new state, I do not think we realised what an effect it would have on our girls, our cat (who still hates us for it), and us. I said that it was fine to move from a house to an apartment for a time, but as that time frame keeps extending itself (due to that whole opening the door thing) I have come to realize that it is really hard. I still feel like we have failed in a way although I know that's not true. I feel kinda like a loser and a bad mom when our oldest Ewok tells friends that we have to live in an apartment now. And although I know we did the right thing and are doing the right thing by working harder on eliminating our debt than saving for a house - I often find myself singing "Follow the Prophet, follow the Prophet, follow the Prophet, don't go astray..." (stuck in your head yet) when I am doing bills or really want to go out on a date with Han Solo, or need a new pair house pants because my pair literally has two holes in the yonder regions and that's just not okay. I am however, grateful to have a place to stay that is warm, nice and clean - most of the time.

2. Car troubles, ya gotta love 'em. We own one of our cars and are paying on the other really nice one that the whole family can ride in at once, gotta say it's a perk! But we had to register both said cars in our prior state because our house was not selling and we did not want a ticket. So we did the right thing and registered them. Guess what happened not a month later...YES, we sold our house and moved to a new state. So we paid a butt load of money (in our world) for two months of driving. Then our nice car, the one we all fit in at once, broke down, right before our family trip to California, which we were driving too. Good thing we sold the house and had some money (that was allotted for something completely different). A few grand later and a two months into living in a new state, we find out that here (the new state) they are actually rather particular about new residents registering and licencing their vehicles. We managed to get one done, paid for two new licences, and have now had three notices about our second car - again the nice one - not being registered. (I think it will be done this week however). So my point is that for the years of 2008-2009 we paid a grand total of maybe $250 for our two cars and the regular maintenance they required. In the year of 2010 we paid almost $3000. (Yes there are three zeros there intentionally). Oh, and how can I forget that Han Solo literally lost the engine to his Millennium Falcon (aka his 24 foot FedEx rig), that cost us a pretty penny of $10,000. Which we will be forever in debt for and forever grateful for.

3. The Millennium Falcon leads us to number three which is promotes the question of how can one be grateful for having to come up with $10,000 in 3 days? We because it took Han Solo and I to the Temple. I can not be more grateful for the insights, blessings, and inspirations that I have received while in the Temple of the Lord. Want to learn more about that click here. Han Solo and I had decided, after much prayer and talk that our last little Ewok born in May of 2008. I do not do pregnancy well, I do not glow, Han Solo does not like me so much when I am pregnant and quite honestly I don't like me so much pregnant. I am getting old and really what were the chances of us getting a boy, we are 0-3 in that game. So we had sold everything and I had mentally and physical begun to move one from that phase of my life. Here enters the Temple. Now I didn't say I always got the answers I wanted to get when attending the Temple but I do know that I get the answers I need that will most fully bless me and my family. Have you guessed it. Yeah, the answer to our financial problems was given to us in the form of 'Oh, by the way, your family is NOT complete and you need to address that issue, NOW.' Thanks. Here is the TMI moment so close your eyes if you do not want to know details. But the Temple trip was around May 10th I think, we removed the prevenitive measures we were taking on June 1st and I had a positive pregnancy test before July even hit. I guess the 'NOW' part was just as real as the 'your family is not complete' part. Thanks, where is the breathing room in that.

4. For those that do not know we also packed up and moved out of our house and into our apartment in the first two weeks of July, Han Solo's work Hub moved so he had to figure all that out, we registered our eldest Ewok for Kindergarten, and don't forget the cars, the trip, and enter the vomit stage of what the next nine months of my life will be. YEAH!

5. So we are in a new state and all our info and dealing with everything have to be adjusted. I started with medical because all of a sudden this became a necessity. To make this long story short the Health Care provider we had, BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD (take note cause I hate them now!) , for the last 4 years, informed us that the plan were on in our previous state (a whole 47 miles away) does not cover pregnancy's in our new state (apparently popping our a leach here is more expensive than there although I still do all the work and they just catch and hand it over), so I have to "upgrade my coverage." Okay, fine I'll do it...Oh, but that is too easy cause now I am denied coverage for the upgraded plan because, here comes the kicker, of the pre-existing condition of...PREGNANCY. Really people. They were so kind as to offer us a conversion plan which now requires my family to pay $1007 a month to be covered. Really people, we pay $50 more than that for our 3 bedroom apartment. NO worries we are business owners, were rich...NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Lets finish off this grip session (cause I am getting tired of hearing the word diarrhea exploding from my own mouth, or finger tips, however you want to look at it) with the fact that we have had to become our own company "which is an easy process that takes little time." BLA BLA BLA. This would take a year just to explain, trust me.

The point is we were hit hard this year. The housing market stole our wise investment profits, this amazing leach has taken over my body and mood, our "baby" was sent to the wolves roaming the halls of public school, our friends left us behind (except for a select few, and I mean few), the Blazers have not produced the wonder Oden and Roy were destined for, Oregon just lost their first game of the greatest season ever and now will be ranked #3 behind TCU, it is 28 degrees out but we have had NO snow to play in this winter, Han Solo who works his butt off (almost literally but not nearly literally enough) and has a whole $4.57 left in our bank until Thursday, I need to make dinner but can only concentrate on NOT vomiting, and it is only JANUARY 11th.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, let me have a better year this year than last. AHHH did I stray? So my word for this year is NOW. I have learned from this last year that there are few things I truly can control. My Ewoks dress themselves, although this is almost a form of public cruelty, I am too fat to bend over and color coordinate the kids dished on the lower shelves, I have not figured out how to make my apartment space function the way our house did...do I need to start all this again...NO. THIS YEAR I WANT TO REGAIN A SENSE OF CONTROL! I am going to do this by focusing on the NOW. Right NOW I need to update the Ewoks chore list and make them follow it again. Right NOW I need to hold FHE and tell the Ewoks our goals for the year, "Clean as you go." Right NOW I need to make a cleaning box to help with that goal. Right NOW I need to finish the sewing projects that are for my new niece who was born this morning. But most importantly RIGHT NOW I need to finish this post and make dinner cause my Ewoks have transformed into Chewbaccas and that's not a good starting point for our night.