Wednesday, February 24, 2010
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- Gemia
- clarifications: Han Solo is my hubbie, I am Leia, my children while throwing a fit or being sassy will be referred to as "Chewy" and when they are pleasant they will be called "Ewoks"
my Survival Guides
my beliefs
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hopefully i will be
I only had time to skim this so far, but it seemed to go with what I was going to respond to the last post.
ReplyDeleteYou try to do too much. You have unreasonable expectations. You know I love you, but I have learned this the hard way so I'm allowed to pass it on. There's no such thing as a perfect mom, so stop trying. Stop beating yourself up. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Your life is unique and the way you handle it should be unique too. I have gotten so down on myself before because my house is never clean the way I want it to be. It's also a hundred years old, so it obviously has flaws that the new homes of friends do not have. I have weight to lose and I feel like every friend of mine looks like a Barbie doll. I don't care anymore. I love our house. It is perfect for us. My house is never perfectly clean. It's not a showroom either. Lorien hangs her artwork on every wall. I would rather build her self-esteem by making our home into an art museum for her than have a home where everything is in its place but Lorien feels like she can't do anything worthy of displaying. We build forts in the living room and have tea parties. It makes a big mess but it also makes some great memories. I think I have been blessed with a unique perspective on life. I don't know what will happen with Lorien and her illness. It could end badly. So you better believe that I will spend every moment that I can doing the things that matter. If my bathroom stays soap-scummy for another day, so be it. I doesn't matter. I don't totally let it all go, of course, but I don't beat myself up about it anymore either. If I want to take an evening and sit my behind on the couch and watch TV instead of catching up on my chores, I'm going to do it! That's important too, to sit with my hubby and chat and connect a little for the day.
It's just all about priorities, babe. You are fabulous. You just have to believe that. Maybe instead of sewing a fancy advent calender, make a messy one out of construction paper and glitter with your girls. It will be quicker, cheaper, and will not mean any less to your family because it was not perfect. You just never know what life will hand you. That's what I have learned. One day you find out your only child has a chronic disease and things just change. But the thing is, my daughter makes me think about how short life is. But I don't have a monopoly on that. You don't have to be sick to be mindful of that. Anyone's life can change overnight. Just try to live so you don't have any regrets. Stop comparing yourself to other people. In the things that matter, most people don't come close to measuring up to you. Don't worry that your neighbor is selling a house for less. Just have faith. If selling your house is meant to be and right for your family, it will happen. Do everything you can and then have faith and don't worry.
Sheesh. Sorry this was so long. I love you a lot and want you to be happy!